50 and beyond

What’s it like to be married for 25 years?

Well, I’ve now been married so long that it doesn’t bother me at all that I had to remind Hubby last night that it’s our ROM anniversary today. I used to take it personally in the early years, but now, I know him inside out. He simply can’t remember dates the way he can’t remember people’s names. So, instead of taking offence, I revel in watching his facial expression turn from realisation to panic when I remind him that it’s our anniversary.

Once upon a time, when we were doing our courtship dance, he was as charming as a prince. Now, he’s become like an old t-shirt that I never want to throw away because it’s so comfortable.

After 25 years, we still don’t have much in common. I can’t stand the Netflix dystopian type series he watches, and he never accompanies me to watch my favourite comedy series. We have completely different tastes in music. I make sure I practise my drums when he’s not around, or use headphones over the weekend, so that he won’t be bothered by the noise I’m making.

I enjoy spending time with him. I find him most fascinating. I am enthralled by his intelligence, insights, and wisdom. I am entertained just by listening to his workday—what happened at work, who he spoke to, and his thoughts and assessment about the world around us. I am tickled by his humour and his silly jokes. He still cracks us all up over the dinner table with his silly jokes.

You would think that Hubby is a boring person. He has no hobbies, unless you consider watching Youtube a hobby. I once asked him if he had any hobby, anything he likes to do in his free time. He thought about it and replied that I am his hobby. He likes spending time with me. So, I have to try to make sure that I make him happy by treating him like a puppy. I shower him with attention and affection.

I am amazed by the way he learns. He reads a book in 10 minutes and then over the next few weeks, proceeds to tell me daily how he’s applying the principles he’s learnt in the book. I am impressed by his leadership in the workplace. I am not exaggerating when I say I that I know he has people in his team who would die (figuratively) for him. Once, when I was walking around in his workplace, a subordinate of his came to me to greet me and proceeded to tell me how great he was and she teared when she told me that.

And yes, he’ll probably cringe and get annoyed with me if he ever found out that I am writing all this down in this mushy blog entry. But he won’t, because you won’t tell him, okay? Because if you did tell him, he will make me stop, and then, you won’t ever get to find out stuff like that ever again. And haha, he doesn’t even know the name of my blogsite and he’s never read a single blog entry I’ve written. That’s how different we are in our interests.

The older I get, the more I think about death. Ya, I’m a bit morbid that way. I wish that I will have many, many, many more good and healthy years with him. May God grant me the desires of my heart.

Ecclesiastic 4:9-12

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Billy Joel – Just the way you are

Don’t go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before, mmm
Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
And I don’t see you anymore

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far, mmm
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are

Don’t go trying some new fashion
Don’t change the colour of your hair, mmm
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard, mmm
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
Oh, but what will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you, that’s forever
And this I promise from the heart, mmm
I couldn’t love you any better
I love you just the way you are